Joeyisms and Mad Dawgies

A few random quotes from my kids....
Joey: Mom, you sure are getting fatter every day. It's like your stomach is going to pop. (Thanks, Joey...um, I only have 5 more months to go!!)

Maddox praying at night: Dear God, please help Gma Phyllis not be sad anymore. Please help her to watch ESPN so she will be happy again.

Joey: Mom, now tell me again how the doctor is going to get that baby out.
Me: Joey, they just do. They just take the baby right out of me. (I try to avoid any real scientific explanations of just about anything regarding childbirth). Joey: Well, mom, do you know how horses have babies?
Me: Yes, Joey I do. Do you?
Joey: Yes- they poop their babies out, mom! They come right out of their butts! Maddox: That would be so gross.
Joey: Yeah, what if mom pooped her baby out? That would be so disgusting.
Me: Oh, boys, you have no idea.....

Joey has given up candy for lent and has done a fantastic job of resisting temptation! I am so proud of him. One night, I gave Maddox some jelly beans.
Joey: How many more days mom til I can have candy?
Me: About 14, Joey. You're doing great.
Joey: Why did I give up candy for lent? I wish I would have given up using my napkin. That would have been much easier.

Maddox and his cousin, Carter, have a unique way of saying each other's names. Maddox calls Carter "Tartar" and Carter calls Maddox "Maggox." Here's what Maddox said to Carter when they were at Gma's house one day: "Tartar, when you get older, you will be able to say my name right, okay?" I laugh about this every time I think about him saying that....

Maddox while watching ESPN...
Maddox: Mom, you have got to see this play. Rewind it.
I rewind until Maddox tells me to stop. Then, we watch Derrick Rose slam dunk the ball in a basketball game. ESPN showed multiple clips and angles of the dunk right in a row. After the clips were over, Maddox looks at the t.v. and says: "DUNK YOU VERY MUCH!" It would have only been better had daddy been there to hear that!

Joey: Mom, why can't Remsy have babies?
Me: Because daddy and I didn't want any puppies running around here so we asked the doctor if he could make her not have babies.
Joey: How did they make her not have babies?
Me: They gave her medicine (Once again, same rule applies- no scientific facts given when discussing birth and other related birthing topics).
Joey: Mom, when I go to college, I am going to get a dog and she is going to be able to have babies. That way, I will always have a dog. You and dad won't always have a dog because Remsy will die.
Maddox: I am going to take mom and dad to college with me.
Joey: That's not fair.
Maddox: Yeah, but Joey, you get to take a dog to college. And, it will have babies.
Joey: Oh yeah.

Conversation between Joey and his dad....Joe had just yelled out something to me in the other room about paying taxes.
Joey: What are taxes, dad?
Joe: Well, you know how I go to work every day so that we can have money?
Joey: yep
Joe: Well, when I get paid for working hard, then the government takes some of my money...and that's called taxes.
Joey: And, then does the government give that money to other people who don't have money?
Joe: Um, well, yeah, that's pretty much how it works, Joey.
(We might have thrown in a little political humor at the end, as well.....)

Right before we went to bed and we were reading some a daily Lent bible reading...
Joey: Mom, you know how Jesus died, and then He rose?
Me: yes
Joey: yeah, they buried him and everything and then he just came back from the dead. After Jesus came alive again, did he look at everyone and say, "Ha Ha! Just kidding! I'm not dead!"?
Me: yes, it went something like that....that Jesus is quite the jokester, isn't he?