Another round of Joeyisms and Mad Dawgies

More quotes from my children to make up the latest edition of what I call "Joeyisms and Mad Dawgies"

Me: What did you dream about last night, Maddox?
Maddox: Remotes
Spoken like a true male!

Joey: Mom, It's better having a brother. Yep, it's better to have a brother. I love you Mad Dawg.
Maddox: Thank you.

I was putting eye make-up on one morning and Maddox asked, "Mom, why are you putting dirt on your eyes?"

We were watching t.v. and a commercial for some pink toy came on.
Joey: Mom, there's a toy you would like! It's pink! I am going to get that for you for Christmas!

We were at home at my mom and dad's house and my mom had two babies in a little baby crib. And, Maddox asked Grandma Sheila if he could play with the dolls. We were both shocked. He then took both of them, and banged their heads into each other and yelled, "Bam! Bam! Bam!" There is no question this child is ALL-boy!

Maddox was sleeping with Joe one night, and I went to Maddox's bed. Joey was talking in his sleep and said, "Spidey-Man- Save me!!! He is the only one who will save me!"

Joey was going the bathroom one day and yelled for me to come up. Fearful of yet another bathroom problem, he looks at me, raises his hands and yells "Look, Mom! No hands! I can poop with no hands!!" I have since applied for him to be on America's Got Talent.

Joey and Maddox were both in the bathtub. Joey looked at Joe and said, "Dad- when you fart in the bathtub, it smells SUPER bad. It's so gross. Why does it smell so bad?" It's one of life's great mysteries, even to a child.

I like to give my boys a massage when I shampoo their hair. Joey loves for me to rub his neck. So, then Maddox asked me to do it to him. So, I did and he said, "Mom - are you trying to break my neck?"

Joey was watching t.v. and came up to the kitchen and said, "Mom! I know something to make your hair not flat!!"
I had no idea what he was talking about as I was making dinner. So, I said, "Oh yeah? What's that?"
And, he said, "It's called a Bumpit! It's a Bumpit!"

I asked Joey if he wanted to play a game and he said, "Come on, mom, I can play that game in my sleep!" Then, when we were playing video games, he punched my guy and said, "That's gonna hurt in the morning! That's gonna hurt!" He's trash-talking already!

Maddox to me: Mom, when is that Mr. Easter Man going to come?

Joey to me: Hey- how do bees poop if they have a stinger on their butt? Where does the poop come out of?

Joey: Mom, I know how to spell "sports"!
Me: Really? How?
Joey: E-S-P-N
Daddy was so proud! Although we did have to explain that's not exactly how you spell it, but it's very, very close!

And, finally, last night we had some issues over sharing Wolverine. We went to bed and said prayers. And, sometimes I ask them to repeat after me when I pray, and this was one of those nights.
Me: Dear God, thank you so much for giving us Joey. He is a great big brother and always shares his toys.
Joey: Dear God, thank you so much for giving us Joey. He is a great big brother.
Me: And, God, thank you for giving us Maddox. He is a great little brother and so fun to play with.
Joey: Thank you for Maddox. He is fun to play with but he takes my Wolverines.
Me: God, help us to remember to share our toys and that sometimes we have to give our toys to our little brother.
Joey: God, he took it right out of my hands. He just took it!
Maddox: I did not Joey, it was mine!
Joey: Maddox, see? God just asked you to give it back to me.
Maddox: No he didn't, did he mom? I didn't hear him say anything!
Me: God, please help my boys to remember to love each other.
Joey: Not if he doesn't give me my Wolverine back.
Me: Okay, let's get back on track. Dear God, we pray for Papa Mark so he feels better soon.
Maddox: We pray for Papa Mark so he doesn't forget to feed the piggies lunch.
Joey: They're dead, Maddox. The pigs are dead. They don't need lunch.
Maddox: No they aren't.
Joey: Yeah, they are. Dad told me that papa Mark kills his pigs so we can have burgers. It's true. Maddox: oh, okay.

(The back story: I asked Joe what he told Joey about my dad and pigs, and he said, 'Oh, I told him that Papa wasn't going to have pigs anymore so these were the last pork burgers we would be eating.' And, the backstory to that is that my dad is retiring from raising hogs, so he gave us all the last batch of meat from them! Funny!)