A REAL baby book

Okay, so last week, Joe and I took the boys out to eat. This rarely happens, as to be honest, it's just not worth it to me. We once made a guy leave a restaurant. And, although I believe that man was internally and eternally unhappy with his own life, I still felt like a complete failure as a parent. Did I really just make a guy get up and leave? Anyway, that's the short version of the story. But, we went out last week and the boys were FANTABULOUS. They sat. They drank. They ate. They laughed. They did not throw food. They did not hit the people behind us. They said "thank you" to the waitress. They did everything right. And, my husband said, "Mark this date down. August 5th. The first date they were actually BOTH good in a restaurant."

So, that got me thinking. I mean, really, we should be marking down the REAL dates of childhood and parenthood. Not those dates that a baby book says - first walk, first crawl, first word, first book, first tooth. Let's get real. Let's mark down the dates that we all REALLY remember. Such as:
* First time child bit another child.
* First note home from the principal.
* First time child pooped in bathtub.
* First time child wrote on walls.
* First time child was threatened with a spanking.
* First time child broke something expensive.
* First time child threw something at 50-inch plasma t.v. screen.
* First time child threw up on parent.
* First time child threw a temper tantrum in public.
* First time parent thought about leaving child in "safe place."
* First time child visited emergency room.
* First time child climbed out of crib.
* First time child said a naughty word.
* First time child ate dirt.
* First time child asks for grandma instead of you upon waking up in the morning.
* First time you could not find your child.
* First time child ran away from you and you literally could not catch him/her.
* First time child poops his/her pants and you have no diaper or wipes with you.
* First time child takes your beer and drinks it when you weren't looking.
* First time child burps loudly during Sunday sermon.
* First encounter with a Sharpie marker.
* First time you give you child a lemon or a pickle.
* First time you bribed your child.

Yep, I'm pretty sure I could sell a baby book like this. The moms who live in the fantasy-perfect world would never buy it. But the moms who have learned to laugh at themselves, to take the bad with the good, to remember every moment- even if it's not perfect- they will buy it. And, they will love it.