Come On, Baby, Rescue Me!

Get it ready. Your best Diana Ross impersonation and belt the following lyrics out...

Rescue me

Oh take me in your arms
Rescue me
I want your tender charms

cuz I’m lonely and I’m blue

I need you

and your love too

Come on and rescue me

Come on baby and rescue me!

Come on baby and rescue me!

Oh yes, this lonely and sad mama needed some rescuing this weekend. As I said in an earlier post, this hasn't been the best year, and it certainly hasn't gotten any better. January was spent in hospitals and by my grandpa's side as much as possible. And, February has been spent the same way, except with a visitation and a funeral thrown in. And, then you go back home and you're not sure what to feel, or what to do or how to act happy again. But, I don't want to dwell on that right now. I want to share with you who came to my rescue....

Look out - it's BLACK SPIDEY-MAN!!! Black Spiderman normally isn't a pick-me-upper type of superhero but he'll do the job just fine.

It's not Alvin or Theodore...it's the coolest of the coolest Chipmunks - SIMON! As the song states: We're the chipmunks! C-H-I-P-M-U-N-K! We're the chipmunks! Guaranteed to brighten your day! Do-Do-DoDoDoDo....and, oh, how he brightened my day.Red Power Ranger. Here's the story on Power Rangers: I don't know anything about these strange men (and one foxy lady who wears yellow). They come in the form of cartoons or the real deal - like real adult actors acting as Power Rangers and yelling things like, "Ahhh, Jungle Fury!" I've never been real fond of them, but Maddox sure does make a cute one.Diego thought he'd make an appearance and take me on a safari hunt....there's sure to be happiness and laughter on a safari hunt...and lions, and tigers, and bears. The Hulk. The INCREDIBLE Hulk. Sporting the $20 giant hulk hands that yell, "You're Making Me Angry!! Arrrr!" Happiness may not be the Hulk's trademark, but it got a smile out of me.It's Peter Parker. Peter before he got bit by the Spider. Peter before he got yelled at by his boss. This is happy Peter Parker. Seriously, I want to be M.J. Peter has loved MJ since they were little. When I tell Joey bedtime stories, I always include MJ.Oh no...the Spider got him and he is transforming slowly......ready to rescue his mama from heartache.

If Spiderman can't get the blues to go away, nobody can!It ain't a plane. It ain't a bird. It ain't a frog. It's just little ol' SUPER MADDOG! Superman ALWAYS rescued Lois Lane- he could always be counted on to save the day. And, not to mention, Clark Kent was hot. Anyone who can fly like that is hot. Anyway, back to my kids. My cute kids.Jeff Gordon - move over. There's a new race car driver in town, ready to take his mama down to Happy Town. Vrrooooom!What, mom, that didn't do it for you? Fine, I'll be a Clone Trooper. In a galaxy far, far away, there was surely happiness to be found.

It was a last-ditch effort by the dog. She was tired of seeing me sad and lonely. She knew she had to step in. After puking her way through January on our new carpet, it was time to be the dog she knew she always could be. Michigan Remsy to the Rescue!But, alas, the real knight in shining armor came home. Hulk O' Hulk O' Burnin' Love. And, even though it was a sad start of the year, he guaranteed her that happy days would come again.

She remembered why she fell in love with him. She was drunk.
And he remembered why he fell in love with her. She was amazing, beautiful, talented and smart. (absolutely no sarcasm here, folks).
She loved her Miller Light.
He introduced her to Coors Light.
She told him that real men hunt. And, explained the theory of the circle of life.
And, he explained his love for "Bambi" and all of God's creatures. But, as for pheasants, he explained, they can fend for themselves.
And, she opened his eyes to the world of pork. Pork Chops. Ribs. Pork Burgers.
And, he showed her how Italians can devour a plate of ziti in 2.5 minutes flat.
She was a farm girl. Farm girls don't get up when they see the sun. Farm girls wake the sun up.
He was a city boy. He loved his alarm clock like the crops loved a good rain.
She taught him about harvest season and riding in the combine.
And, he taught her the value of college football season. And pre-football season. And post-football season. And, how there is no off-season.
She introduced him to sisterhood. Only having brothers, he was unaware of the "I must call my sister 3 times a day to talk about absolutely nothing" rule.
He introduced her to brotherhood. And, how it consists of sitting on the couch, grunting, burping, eating, watching sports, taunting and torturing eachother.
She showed him gravel roads and vowed to never let him drive alone on them.
He showed her how to read a map. She never got it, but he showed her. Many times.
And, she had no idea why Italians put eggs in their pasta and the sight of it made her sick.
And, he had never heard of peanut butter and pickle sandwiches and it made him want to gag.
She introduced the Catholic School Boy to the world outside of polo shirts and kackis.
And, he introduced her to this little thing called technology. World Wide Web, iBaby. Google it.
She never thought she'd take a liking to his rap or R&B. But, she did.
And, he swore he'd never belt out a Garth Brooks song. But, he did.
And, he told her how he didn't have any grandpas, and how sad that was for him.
And, she had wonderful news for him: she had TWO grandpas and she was willing to share.
And one day- he proposed.
And, she said yes.
And, even with sad times like January and February, he still loved her. And, he didn't try to make her sadness go away. He just held her hand and rubbed her back and hugged her randomly. With a promise of better days ahead. And, she believed him.
And, so far, it was happily ever after.

Happiness may not be here yet. But, with these superheros, it's bound to be just around the corner. Right?