Weekend Update...

Joey, Maddox and I left on Friday for my parent's house. Joe had softball on Friday and all day Saturday, so thought I'd take advantage and go home. I was praying for good weather, so Joey could be outside as much as he wanted. God answered! The weather was beautiful! On Friday night, Gma and Gpa Remsburg came over and dad grilled for everyone. Then, we went outside. Joey played...and played...and played. And, the grandparents watched...and laughed....and watched...and laughed. He swung on the swings, he rode his "motorcyle" all around the yard all by himself, he rode the Ranger with my dad, he saw the piggies, he played in the "forest" (my parents backyard, he played in the "clubhouse" (the playhouse at my parents' house), he delivered mail to all of us (from the mailbox that is at the clubhouse), he made pizza at the restaurant (the rockpile by a tree), and played Spiderman in the sandbox. Whew! He was busy - and exhausted at the end of the night! It took Maddox a while to go down, but Joey went to bed right away. And, he didn't get up until 8 a.m.! Now, that is a first! I slept until 6:30 a.m. which was sleeping in for me, as well.

We got up, and Joey was ready for round two of the outdoors. I went in to town and saw my cousin Ashley's new house. It was beautiful and she's decorated it so, so cute. I got some new ideas for my house, too. We didn't have a lot of time to chat though. Then, I went home, we put Maddox down for a nap, and then Joey got to play outdoors. Once again, he played everything he could think of. He took a stick and went looking for bear tracks. But, this is what he told my mom, "Gamma, I don't see any bear feet." He walked on logs, he looked for monsters, he looked for birds, he ran all over. His imagination was running so fast, he couldn't keep up with it. My mom and I just watched him. He told me, "Mom, this is the BIGGIEST forest I have EVER seen!" He's like a kid in a candy store on the farm- he loves every minute of it. Then, it was time for a tractor ride. Dad was planting so Joey and I went. When we pulled into the field, he said, "Hey, Papa got a new tractor!" He's used to seeing the combine so I think that's what he was referring to. We climbed in and he said, "Mom, this is going to be SO MUCH fun! I SO CITED! (excited)" We rode probably 3 or 4 rounds with dad, hoping it made his time go faster, as he had a long day ahead of him in the field. Joey asked to drive multiple times, and asked why dad didn't have his foot on the gas pedal but the tractor was still going. Sometimes, I think he is so observant and smart! Anyway, dad took him out to the buffer strip and let Joey drive all by himself. He got to steer, turn, everything. He was so proud of himself. But, he eventually had to let Papa take over in the field. After Maddox's nap, we stopped over at Gma and Gpa Remsburg's to say hello before heading back to Des Moines. They mostly just watched the kids and smiled. I know it brings them great joy to see the boys.

We got back to Des Moines, Joe was still playing in the tournament and they were doing great. Joe had done everything on my "Honey Do" list, because we were showing the house. Thankfully, he has a good friend Ben who helped him. Ben did an amazing job on the porch carpet. (Now, that's a true friend- one who will do your wife's honey do list items without complaining - or making fun of you!) I called Anna to come over a little early - 7 p.m. to give me some time to shower and get ready for Andrew McMurray's graduation. I was looking forward to a little adult interaction.

The graduation party was great. Julie has a beautiful house and I love looking at it and getting new ideas for my own house. Sean and Julie used to live by us and we miss having them so close. Their kids are all great. Joe and I stayed quite a while at the party, and I had a chance to mingle with Scott and Terri and Chuck and Lisa. We got on the topic of rules they have for their kids. I wished I would have had a notebook because they had a lot of good rules. AND, they have GREAT kids. I always try to listen as much as possible to parents of teens and try to learn even more. The fact is, my parents and Joe's parents didn't have a lot of the challenges parents have today. Like my parents said, they didn't have to deal with texting, IMing, emailing, MySpace, cell phones, etc. Here are a few rules that Scott and Terri and Chuck and Lisa have that I want to remember:
1) When the kids walk in the door, the cell phones have a spot. They cannot talk on their cell phones while in the house. They can talk on their home phone and their friends can call their home phone to talk.
2) No riding with other kids, no giving rides to other kids. (Scott said he didn't want his kids to ever be responsible for killing another kid in his car - or vice versa.)
3) Curfews: Freshman: 10:30; Sophomore: 11; Junior: 11:30; Senior: Midnight.
4) Change of Venue rule: When their kids leave a place, they call their parents to tell them they left. When they arrive at their new place, they call their parents to tell them they've arrived.
5) They need to always be accessible by cell phone. In other words, they are required to take every call from their parents immediately (hang up with your friend, take your mom and dad's call).
6) Parents must be home for a larger social gathering. Call the parents to see if they'll be home before you allow your kid to go. (Despite the embarrassment their kids seem to have over this)
7) No texting- As Scott pointed out, there is no point in texting. There is no purpose to it. Ban it, and review every cell phone bill. Also ensures there is no texting while driving.

Those were a few I could remember. I wonder how things will change by the time my kids are that age. However, despite the fact that our parents didn't deal with those challenges, I think the basic values remain the same and can be applied to any situation.

Okay, on to the weekend. On Sunday, we went to church. The sermon was great and showed clips from the movie "Dan in Real Life" (I wish my mom would have been there). The sermon was about the busyness of life. He said that our culture is too busy- it's one thing after the next, we go, go, go without stopping. He asked how many of us had taken the time to "breathe in" and actually enjoy a moment. He has a son graduating and he said that "Time goes by so, so fast.....". Joe and I took that to heart. We go so fast, sometimes our heads spin. Pastor Mike said that we are not strong enough to change the cultural tide, so we must change ourselves. He said, "If you're too busy, then you're too busy" - meaning, if you're too busy for some personal daily quiet time with God, then you need to cut out something. It's hard sitting through something like that, because you kind of want to crawl in a hole because you know he's talking to you. He challenged the church to read the Gospel of Mark this summer. Joe and I had started our daily bible readings that the church does, but I'll admit, I was often too tired or too busy. I'd lay down, and that's what would get tossed aside and cut out of our daily lives. It should really be the other way around- that should come first. So, this time, Joe and I have committed ourselves to the Gospel of Mark, reminding ourselves we have to cut something else out to make it fit, if we have to. That night, as we went on a walk with Joey and Maddox, we kept saying, "Hurry up, Joey. Walk, Joey. Joey, get going." I checked myself- and stopped myself. Enjoy the moment, breathe in. These days go by so fast. What was my hurry to get to the park? Joey was enjoying picking the dandilions, smelling the lilacs, and stopping to look at every dog he saw. Just enjoy it, so we're trying to be better at that....when he graduates, I'll be wishing I had just one more walk to the park with him.

I'm reading the book "The Last Lecture". It's a lecture given by a professor dying of pancreatic cancer. The chapter I'm on now, starts like this "I won the parent lottery." He felt as if he had won the lottery because his parents were that great. I hope my kids can say that about us someday. Lately, the kids have been challenging. I now know why parents say "Two and through." This is the odd thing- there's two of them, two of us, and yet, we are clearly outnumbered. How can that be? It's like they keep going and going and going.....and if it's not one thing, it's another. Supper time is crazy madness, bathtime is a struggle, bedtime takes double the time it should. Parenting is like a constant gut check, a constant heart check, a constant soul check. You never get a break - but at the end of the day, if they actually would think they won the Parent Lottery, I guess that will be our reward.

I'll end this blog with the hopes that my "Rhubarb Crunch" turns out to be a masterpiece. Gma Phyllis gave me a bunch and I'm trying a new recipe that I cut out of "Iowa Farmer Today" (farm wives know how to cook- it has to be a good recipe, right?). Joe is super excited about this (can you tell that I rarely bake?), and I told him "Get ready to have your socks knocked off." So, expectations are very high, and I'm feeling like Susie Homemaker. Gma Phyllis would be so proud.